The problem, of course, is that it is a promise that *only looks or sounds good, but isn't good for nearly everyone.* Take the word "can," for example. Someone CAN TRY to do anything. Lots of people TRIED to fly properly before the Wright brothers came up with a great working concept. They will GUARANTEE that you'll make money with their programs. Watch out for the asterisk beside the word "guarantee". If you read the fine print, it actually says: "No idiot on their right mind would dare believe this outrageous and unprovable claim. However, if you are a bigger idiot than most, please contact us today." OK, not really, but it should, I think.
Promises like the ones in these offers can all be washed away, actually, with a simple comment, an almost harmless, maybe even forgettable, phrase: RESULTS WILL VARY. In other words, they should note somewhere: "You are so far down the mountain of cash from where I stand that by the time I get bored with this top-heavy financial scheme, you'll still be trying to find one person who is willing to join your little 'group,' and preferably before you even find that one buffoon, your hilariously normal human sense of guilt will make you give up trying to hook someone else into this make-believe world of mine. Unless you are as amoral as I am, and then WE GOTTA TALK, PAL!"
These promises, you see, are essentially the same as the ones a school bully might offer. "Give me your lunch money and I won't spit on you!" Did ya fall for that one? Sorry to hear it. Imagine that the bully promises to give you twice your money back in three months. If that sounds good to you, please do the right thing and insist a loved one holds onto your checkbook and debit cards. You are not safe with them in your possession.
Here's a message regarding such a "great" program which I received and my reply to it. This I received, I am embarrassed to admit, after joining a phone conference with the WINNERS of a similar program -- or maybe the exact same one, I cannot be sure because the prospecting people and Web sites for these programs change often -- and some prospective, uhh, winners. Apparently, I was supposed to be one of these future winners in the program. (I felt more like a dupe, frankly.)
I thought the phone conference -- and the letter, too -- was long-winded, without any concrete information on the program. The letter was from a woman I have renamed Miss "Lather" for the purposes of not wanting to identify her, even by her first name, out of a lack of respect. Out of a lack of respect for her, and other people who take advantage of dumb, desperate or jobless folks with schemes that only benefit the financially secure who can wait out enough suckers paying a $250 "package," "training" or "wealth development" fee in such programs.
* The email letter below is real, from a group that you might think is as legitimate as a neighborhood Mary Kay, Avon or Amway participant. But far better! Or so they want you to think. I changed her name, and the names involved with the business. I didn't want to give them any credit whatsoever, because I could see it was what I will call a wait-and-gain program for folks who were not needing a job to pay the bills, frankly.*
HER LETTER TO ME:
On Friday, August 19, 2005, at 05:55 am, "Lather" wrote:
Hi Jon,
First, I'd like to introduce myself and let you know why I'm contacting you again.
You may have been enjoying stories from me about how to be an entrepreneur. My name is Lather and I received your name as someone who is looking for a real, INTERNET BASED business that you can work from your home, WITHOUT ANY RISK! OUR PROGRAM IS LITERALLY NOTHING TO START! Thank you for your interest.
I sent a few mesages to you over the past 2 months but 10 weeks ago, a biggie went by unnoticed. I promised to put 10,000 people into your business. I have done that for others and I am offering it again to you. I WILL RECRUIT FOR YOU ........ YES, Today GUARANTEED.Your e-mail address has been provided to me through one of the following methods:
You submitted a classified ad or link to one of my pages or you were sent to me by one of several "lead-generating" organizations as a result of having filled out their "request for information" form. Through a series of these messages you will learn everything you need to know about us, our company, and best of all how you can launch your own online business.
Of course you can contact me at any time.
Over the next few weeks I will be providing you with information that will allow you to make hundreds (even thousands) of dollars, weekly! If, at any time you'd like to be removed from my mail list, simply remove yourself with the link provided at the bottom of the mailing.
Our company, Gallstone Club - Prepaid Living, is a division of a 5 year old, stable, extremely well managed corporation named OutHouse America. The company is not only solid and stable but also has tremendous integrity. ALL checks are always paid on time and the company owner and management are down to earth, caring entrepreneurs just like you and me!
Now, what we are not is.... ANOTHER TYPICAL DEAL, our business model is EMM, Exact Method Marketing! You will learn how to build a business from home without having to do any selling, recruiting and product distribution. Most of us can't sell and the company knows that. They also know that RECRUITING IS SELLING, and that's why most people fail in NETWORK MARKETING.
Over the next few days, in a series of emails, you will learn the what, why and how of EMM Vs NM. If you don't want to wait then visit my website (you'll get your own...FOR FREE!) and you're welcome to browse. In fact, enroll IT'S ZERO TO JOIN! But, be careful, you just might find yourself experiencing the thrill of your life...
WE ARE HOT, because WE MAKE SENSE!
PLEASE VISIT: http://www.creativeworks.freestoreclub.com
Here's to a winner,
Lather
------
MY REPLY:
Lather,
Thanks for the interesting and compelling message, but it's simply too good to be true, as far as I can determine, with a payoff I cannot afford to wait for right now. If I could get 10,000 [people] into a business that simply, I would be blessed beyond possibility. However, were this possible, people would be leaving day-in, day-out jobs to a degree that services and the economy would have completely fallen apart by now.
I have a wealthy imagination, but what does OutHouse America offer me as far as an occupation I can grasp? I cannot distract myself from seeking solid work that will bring in money. I am unemployed and too busy for "future" promises.
Enticing copy, though. I would love to be involved in copywriting from home for a living.
Any prospects for that?Notice the last line in my reply? Now, THAT would be an opportunity I could grab onto -- earning a living as a copywriter. You know what they say: earn an honest living, don't get caught up in some repugnant, opportunistic robbing-Paul-to-pay-Peter scheme. Well, I don't know who says that, but those of us who are actually honest in business should be saying it a lot.
Yes, I changed the names to, well, I did that because it isn't important; the company is probably closed now, and a new one with a new name took its place. Same scam, new name.
Of course, in these schemes, it's the script and letters/emails these groups of bottom feeders write that hook desperate people into these programs. I like writing, but I would only be able to "spin" something so far before my conscience disallows outright pandering to people's greed -- and more than likely, their lack of practical financial knowledge.
- Jonny O
* Revised this in 2010, in a random visit to old posts. Material with an asterisk surrounding it is new, otherwise, I only edited for clarity. - JO
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